Still Waters

If you could take a picture of my hidden place
You would find yourself adrift on my ocean
Painted in all shades of blue
That I stole from clear skies above.

I travel vast distances to find his welcoming shores
Where children build sandcastles & thrones
With a misguided belief that warmth is endless
And the cold of night will hold back its icy bite.

Once he has been left to his lonesome
I find myself in a tide of agonizing longing
Reaching out to his now cold sands
Only to pull away & leave my tears to dry.

My refusal to let go
Has sent me crashing into pitiless rocks
Fighting battles against lightning storms
And brought death to those who neared me.

Little do they know..those who find joy in my shallow waters
And they who dare dive deeper
Would find him bearing the weight
Of my darkest, most life-threatening trenches.

We are joined before the eyes of God & His people
Run deep enough to drown out the sounds above
He is everywhere I go even at standstill
And I take comfort in knowing that perhaps this is love.

Easy Come, Easy Go

It will never get easier for me, will it?

Not whilst you are the sun, the moon and everything that nurtures a flower.
And no matter how beautifully it will bloom
It will die time & time again
Yet somehow..it just keeps growing back.
Never missed.
Never mourned for.
Because we all know, it will always return.
Regardless of how harsh the winter has been

And it is from bitter seeds that they grow & deign to bloom.

The amazing thing about it all
Is that the flower never asks questions
Never compares itself to another
It just..blooms.

I dare say it has always been that easy for me.
Perhaps even with eyes, unlike the flower, I could not see.

Recrudescence

And even as the jewels of his crown
Lay parted from their sockets
The steel engraved with memories of rage
He remains King of all that dwells in deprivation of light.

Amongst his sharp-edged jewels
I seize the disembodied heart
Cradled in a pale of tears
I carry my token of love to the hills of desolation.

Until such distance where pain reaches a quiescent state
Where my hands no longer quake
And each breath of belligerent air numbs the flesh
A much desired stillness to aid in the grasping of a needle

As I rethread the strings of my heart
I realize the absence of persecution beside a self-loathing martyr
For as long as I have the will & tongue to say, "This is the worst."
I have not yet felt nor tasted the worst.

..bear grace, my King
Tenderness was never promised, denied or owing
I chose by heart to follow in your fall to Hell
And so prepared a tumbling coffin for the rest of my life.

Persephone's Invitation

Listen to him
He sings freely
The sweetest incantations
Of love, ideally

You've become curious
O covetous flower
Petals barely bruised
May I devour?

Let me show you
The celestial beauty
In all his music
And blissful cruelty

Bring forth with haste
Your moistened flesh
He'll watch with restraint
This tasteful mess

Don't be afraid
Of indecent exposure
Drop your garments
And come closer.

Jealousy

She remains untamed

Her core hostility gleaming in her eyes

Hidden behind a red door

I had kept her in chains awaiting her demise

She weeps the years I'm missing

While I shut my mouth & strike the demon

Her eyes questioning all my treachery

As I blindly force the wounds to deepen

After I have exhausted myself

She gathers what she has left

Regardless of troubled respiration

She says this in a single breath

"I am the dream that sickens your hands

An inspiration to the rage you do not desire

And even though you weep rivers & oceans

I will always be your unending fire."

On My Knees

You utter such wretched words
As though I would turn from such decadence
I would gladly forfeit my place at your table
Fall to my knees ere such an enthralling appetizer

I have no interest in rummaging through
You forget that I want it all
Not most, not some
At most, I'd prefer none

O .. but I shouldn't be so greedy ..

Alas, dinner must be cold
Your guests appear subdued
Spare me the hellish facade
I was never one to elude.

A Dinner Reservation in Hell

Your memories fill the table..

Vegetables harvested from the soil of your battlegrounds
Fruit washed in the tears of your enemies
Meat glistening in the light of your fire
..an undeserving aroma laced in clouds of cigarette smoke

Holding my silver platter, I wonder..

Where do I begin?
Who are your guests?
Why do they stare?
How am I even here?

For now, O let me drink..

Pour your soul into my cup
As my cup runs over
I will drink it from the ground
'Til your blood is mine to beat

Let's Start Over

I don't recall saying hello the very first time
So talk to me again
As though you have always been there

I do not know your name
And you do not know mine

But I can hear your voice
You said something..
Something that made me smile

So .. give me that smile, talk to me again
And let's start over.