Dance of the Ocean

I wasted away
In the palms of his hands
Drew the ocean closer to me
And flooded these lands.

He couldn't understand
My incessant need to drown
The overbearing sound of my cries
A heavy burden carried in my crown.

I take pride
In the waves that roll them under
The fools who will not taste my purity
Suffering under the roars of my endless thunder.

You seem revolted
Watching me cleanse the earth of its smut
Forcing my way into the lungs of man
The doors to freedom tightly shut.

I wait patiently
To be the one who dominates your fears
To suffocate you in my unwanted arms
And watch you cry my boundless tears.

Watch me dance
In my blood-soaked wedding dress
Crashing down into rocks, collecting shells
Come admire this strange & beautiful mess.

I find peace
In forever chasing you on my ocean floor
I find blissful comfort
In the walls that keep us in this war.


I wasted away
In the palms of your hands
Draw the ocean out of me
And let me flood your sands.

The Fall of Love

Before you reach out for me
Hand me a drink of your finest poison
Let us wait until the aches have no pain
And my mind is cast into darkness.

Here is where I lay
In the absence of your love
Waiting for the blaze of day
To reveal the comfort of your shadows.

The light of a thousand stars
Traded for the silence of a confound man
Your world kept in a million cracked jars
Placed upon high dust-filled shelves.

Tell me you didn't want me
To fight the demons I saw in your eyes
When you fisted your hands in vexation
And ripped me apart in your mind.

I live for these .. grim wars
For which I refuel my fearful body
A brawl on cold tainted floors
That leaves our flesh torn & bloodied.

Pull me closer before tomorrow claims our moment
Pluck my feathers & tug at my heart after all the violence
Like guitar strings strummed by tiresome fingertips
A song struggling to pierce through the maddening silence.


Just a few short breaths away, still awake & unafraid
I will love you more, lest I be Lady Macbeth
Just a few slow beats away, unchained & losing ground
I ultimately fall asleep beside your welcoming death.

Vulnerable Vixen

Vanity brought down to her knees
Valor stripped from my hands
Vested power bestowed irresponsibly unto him
Vigorously lowered into the darkness
Violent thrusts begging for deliverance
Verbal screams silenced in sporadic movements
Vampiric behaviour relentlessly punished
Vibrations of my heart echoing through my bones
Vengeful hands fisting my muddled hair
Vivacious expressions animated with sounds of pleasure
Vowing to bore mercilessly through my cranium
Venom forcefully injected & digested
Vexation aggressively swallowed & destroyed
Virtuosity proven by such a magnificent performance

Vacuous smile stretched across my face..


Victory .. viciously taken from me.

Behind the Veil

The dangers I place myself in
Walking down an elliptic aisle
No clues to guide my dispositioned feet
Only a veiled search for the eyes that beguile

Tonight, I walk through the seated & secretly lovelorn
Smiles of happiness held together over a short distance
Envy hidden safely under a cloak of admiration
But forward I pace, with relentless persistence

Fate has brought together fire & ice
To forever be at war & yet tightly bound
Because alone, I would send icespears through human hearts
And alone, he would burn cities & empires to the ground

The path now cleared of lies & misunderstandings
Love's asylum now all that remains
He carefully cages the animal within
And as I  near him, he melts the ice in my veins.

To choke on the sound of his name
Lose my breath & turn the brightest shade of blue
For the endless slicing flutters in my ribcage
And for all eternity in Hell .. I do.

Vortex of My Soul

It pulled me down throughout my days
Until sleep became blackholes & endless nightmares
The radiance of my soul had already left my side
To find peace never found on my drenched pillows.

And I walk through the spaces left behind
Hoping that if I breathe deep enough
Splattered enough blood across the floor
I would fill the emptiness with anything but sorrow.

Instead I gather the downpours of my heart
Droplets, puddles, rivers & lakes
Until I became an ocean of shattered dreams
Scattered, lost, dissolved & broken.

My surfaces are perfectly shaded in blue
Beautifully lit up by the unmasked sun
While deep down I hide traces of warships
And bones magnificently torn apart by my tides.

..

I am an ocean of forgotten treasures & stories untold
I am the flood of hatred at your unwanting door
I am a place that should not be felt for too long
Because I am a love so deep it leaves a trail of vortices to his grave.

Delicate Death

Drink me down
Deprive me of my privacy
Dress me in your silk
Dare set free the animal inside
Delegate your hands to undiscovered areas
Drown your ravenous appetite
Drag me through the hot coals
Draw lines into my skin
Delve further into my trenches
Dethrone my jealousy
Discipline my flesh with a flaming rod
Direct my spine to bend
Define my boundaries
Distance me from my freedom

Delight in my terror..


Destroy me.

The Drowning Garden of Discipline

In this moment, I am both your comfort & destroyer
Layer by layer, I stripped you of your sin
Sunlight hiding from such sickening hands
Darkness rising with its beckoning grin.

Death .. come closer
Watch her squirm
Hold back your sickle
First, she will learn.

Come now .. do not think it to be torture
It is punishment carefully measured
In bloodshed, anger, jealousy, hatred
For the foreign flesh she pleasured.

Her grave will be deep & close to my oceans
As you reach for her, she will drown in water & soil
Death, be not discouraged by my disgusting vengeance
Such travesty of love makes my blood boil.


Now. I am royally six feet taller
A rotting corpse now dissolving under my feet
Bones fed to the beasts soon to perish along with it
Vomiting my maggot-filled promises of inevitable defeat.

Wondrous War

With our fists raised
We are at war
We collide with passion
We dance on bloodied soil
Words reduced to instrumental screams
Wisdom silenced in our enmity
Woven together, flesh in flesh
Wild spirits chained to bed pillars
Wandering hands in the absence of light
Waves of tension slowly tamed
Winsome hearts, clashing ribcages
Warm bodies, salivating fangs
Wicked schemes brought to shame
Worldly matters forgotten behind doors

We are the definition of madness..


Watch him tear me apart.

The Eternal Rest

I cradled you when all we had was eachother
Calmed your nightmares on pillows soaked in distress
I rocked your angels to sleep kicking & screaming
While I plucked their feathers & every memory to repress.

I sang a lullaby while digesting your clotting pain
You were too gentle, too delicate to heal
I prepared my armor, my weapons, my shield
So that for now, in order to fight, anger will be all that you feel.

I became stronger each night you slipped further away
Your angels now flightless prisoners to my demonic disguise
I shut their mouths & struck their hearts
With repeated memories of his final goodbyes.

I stripped you of your sunshine
Dissolved your blissful memories in acid
I burned the clothes stained with his scent
Sweet music in the background replaced with a shadowy ballad.

All these years, while you slept
Yes, I tore your skin away
Wore it, tainted it, had it touched
Who was he to own you, I would say.

Had I known your intricate memories
Searched deep enough for that which he found incredible
Why he loved such a quiet & broken soul
I would find his return inevitable.

Awaken, flightless angel of mine
Once I have released my last breath
I pray you forgive me for all I have taken
Cradle me .. rock me to my death.

The Awakening

You are most beautiful in all your sorrow
Cleansed by the rain in your soul
Raw delicacy searching for a new hiding place
Shadows drawn back to reveal the heart he stole.

Show me the brokenness of your heart
The reason for each tear that befalls your cheeks
Pull back the curtains as I peer through the window
Let him find the quiet girl for whom he seeks.

He has torn through your fortified ribcage
Claws searching for music she once played
The calmness of her Winterborn embrace
And memories imbibed in the skin you flayed.

Your death will begin with the one put to sleep
Whispers of my slumber will crawl through your bones
Insanity will rip apart your acidic barbarism
Your shame brought down with a thousand stones.

The skies will darken & isolate you from sight
The world you thought to be yours will disintegrate
And though you may think anger will help you fight
You can not fight the flow of that which is fate.


Alas .. how beautiful you are in all your suffering
Cleansed by the blood now returning to me
Raw delicacy finding comfort in an old home
Shadows drawn back to reveal the missing key.

Since then and even now
I am gentle & from sleep I am shaken
Cast the memories of his absence aside
Release your last breath & allow me to waken.

The Imperial Graveyard

And I am brokenhearted
With only the comfort of gravity pulling me closer
Infinite skies open to God's merciful gaze
Watching me follow a road lit by the moon and stars.

The winds rush to my side
Carrying secrets passed on by the songs of nightingales
Sing slowly & let my eardrums savour the sound
Of his name repeated like a mantra to my soul.

Lead me to the soreness of his sorrows
I will take from him what he thought could not be shared
He will see the symptoms of time drawn across my face
And watch his disease reach out & clutch onto me.

Until I am a lonewolf
Lost in an illusory light
Crushed and beaten by the bones that feed me
Missing the taste of his bloodied saliva.

And I am brokenhearted
With only the comfort of gravity pulling me closer
Infinite skies open to God's resentful gaze
Watching me follow a road lit by the fires of Hell.

Death Deferred

Evermore, she carries shards of his heart
Bloodied hands flinching at each new cut
His aches pressed against her fingertips
As he lay resting in the hands of Entropy.

Tissue swelling around her bones
The oceans welling in her eyes
Death belling in her ears
Her silent aggression quelling the call of Hell.

Perhaps she stood within the doorframe
Guarding him with the love of God
Fragments of his torture finding comfort in her arms
His struggling grip on life nipping at her skirt.

Though his thoughts linger towards darkness
He knows God & God knows him
However scarred & broken his body
His spirit remains radiant.

She knows the feeling of his absence
Before Death even whispered his name
So when it comes to knock at his door
She will take one more look at me in the mirror..

And I will answer.

Anger

Tell me..

What does it feel like?
When the red paint dries
And you're still dripping with anger
From the ground up to the Heavens.

Kill until the shade of red satisfies you
With it, paint me a picture of death & agonizing torment
Remind me how the thorns on the walls of pain cut through you
As you fell into the hole it swallowed you in.

Share with me your piercing desires
To feel the boom of my heart silence
Hold back your mortal grace & godly mercy
And lower me from the ground down into the ashes of Hell.

And I will kill until the shade of red satisfies me
With it, I'll paint you a picture of anger & excruciating fixation
Remind you how light blinded & deafened me
As I left the comfort of my warm darkness.

Let me tell you..

What it feels like
When I crack through the red paint
And I'm still dripping with anger
From the ground down into your elusive heart.

And yet still..

I love you.

À Quatre Mains

And if music were words
I have told him my deepest secrets
Pressed his ear against my chest
"Can you hear the shuffling pieces?"

Even in darkness barely touching black
The tips of my fingers dipped in white
He hovers over me like my flats & sharps
As though somewhere he noticed a flood of light.

I taught him a song beside me
A song in which I would follow his pace
When he moves, I move
Whichever route he takes, I trace.

Every mistake he has made
Must have been a reason to hear my voice
Even in years after those musical nights
Taunting me has always been his method of choice.

Hello my Sun

He once held you in the emptiness of his heart
The sheen of tears still glistening on his hands
I mourned the loss of life inside his own
Watched him lay parched on my dismal sands

Nightmares lay awake at his side
Yet somehow, he finds comfort in such a dark hole
Never will the memory of you be forgotten
No matter how aggressively it tears at his soul

To feel something..anything..
Is to hope that you are still homeward bound
To know pain & heart-rending loss
Is to know you can still be found

Perhaps you roam close to my womb
Since from her arms you were torn
The taste of life taken from you so abruptly
Dare I say you were promised to a Winterborn.

One Man's Possession

Had they sighted the scar in my chest
Felt the jagged abrasions on my cage
They would know love not to be theirs
That I was taken against all my rage.

The battle against starvation
Drew me closer to a blood-seeded bait
Placed not by his hand nor mine
But by the insistent hands of fate.

With every moment spent in reprimand
I painted songs of sorrow onto the walls of this cell
And so with every breath stripped of its chords
I calmly descended into the ashes of Hell.

An agreement sub rosa
Between my God & a fiery Demon
Promised to the King of darkness
A Queen to incubate his semen.

Still I dreamed he'd come to me post deliverance
With my putrid name doused in defamation
My heart tarnished & thrashed about
And bored flesh crying out in desperation.

Even in all my pretentious rampant protests
I slept each night curled up in my hollow chest
He brought to me a yearning for aberration
As I fought each night for a moment of rest.

..had they sighted the scar in my chest
Felt the jagged abrasions on my cage
They would know love not to be theirs
That I was taken by this venerable sage.

Still Waters

If you could take a picture of my hidden place
You would find yourself adrift on my ocean
Painted in all shades of blue
That I stole from clear skies above.

I travel vast distances to find his welcoming shores
Where children build sandcastles & thrones
With a misguided belief that warmth is endless
And the cold of night will hold back its icy bite.

Once he has been left to his lonesome
I find myself in a tide of agonizing longing
Reaching out to his now cold sands
Only to pull away & leave my tears to dry.

My refusal to let go
Has sent me crashing into pitiless rocks
Fighting battles against lightning storms
And brought death to those who neared me.

Little do they know..those who find joy in my shallow waters
And they who dare dive deeper
Would find him bearing the weight
Of my darkest, most life-threatening trenches.

We are joined before the eyes of God & His people
Run deep enough to drown out the sounds above
He is everywhere I go even at standstill
And I take comfort in knowing that perhaps this is love.

Easy Come, Easy Go

It will never get easier for me, will it?

Not whilst you are the sun, the moon and everything that nurtures a flower.
And no matter how beautifully it will bloom
It will die time & time again
Yet somehow..it just keeps growing back.
Never missed.
Never mourned for.
Because we all know, it will always return.
Regardless of how harsh the winter has been

And it is from bitter seeds that they grow & deign to bloom.

The amazing thing about it all
Is that the flower never asks questions
Never compares itself to another
It just..blooms.

I dare say it has always been that easy for me.
Perhaps even with eyes, unlike the flower, I could not see.

Recrudescence

And even as the jewels of his crown
Lay parted from their sockets
The steel engraved with memories of rage
He remains King of all that dwells in deprivation of light.

Amongst his sharp-edged jewels
I seize the disembodied heart
Cradled in a pale of tears
I carry my token of love to the hills of desolation.

Until such distance where pain reaches a quiescent state
Where my hands no longer quake
And each breath of belligerent air numbs the flesh
A much desired stillness to aid in the grasping of a needle

As I rethread the strings of my heart
I realize the absence of persecution beside a self-loathing martyr
For as long as I have the will & tongue to say, "This is the worst."
I have not yet felt nor tasted the worst.

..bear grace, my King
Tenderness was never promised, denied or owing
I chose by heart to follow in your fall to Hell
And so prepared a tumbling coffin for the rest of my life.

Persephone's Invitation

Listen to him
He sings freely
The sweetest incantations
Of love, ideally

You've become curious
O covetous flower
Petals barely bruised
May I devour?

Let me show you
The celestial beauty
In all his music
And blissful cruelty

Bring forth with haste
Your moistened flesh
He'll watch with restraint
This tasteful mess

Don't be afraid
Of indecent exposure
Drop your garments
And come closer.

Jealousy

She remains untamed

Her core hostility gleaming in her eyes

Hidden behind a red door

I had kept her in chains awaiting her demise

She weeps the years I'm missing

While I shut my mouth & strike the demon

Her eyes questioning all my treachery

As I blindly force the wounds to deepen

After I have exhausted myself

She gathers what she has left

Regardless of troubled respiration

She says this in a single breath

"I am the dream that sickens your hands

An inspiration to the rage you do not desire

And even though you weep rivers & oceans

I will always be your unending fire."

On My Knees

You utter such wretched words
As though I would turn from such decadence
I would gladly forfeit my place at your table
Fall to my knees ere such an enthralling appetizer

I have no interest in rummaging through
You forget that I want it all
Not most, not some
At most, I'd prefer none

O .. but I shouldn't be so greedy ..

Alas, dinner must be cold
Your guests appear subdued
Spare me the hellish facade
I was never one to elude.

A Dinner Reservation in Hell

Your memories fill the table..

Vegetables harvested from the soil of your battlegrounds
Fruit washed in the tears of your enemies
Meat glistening in the light of your fire
..an undeserving aroma laced in clouds of cigarette smoke

Holding my silver platter, I wonder..

Where do I begin?
Who are your guests?
Why do they stare?
How am I even here?

For now, O let me drink..

Pour your soul into my cup
As my cup runs over
I will drink it from the ground
'Til your blood is mine to beat

Let's Start Over

I don't recall saying hello the very first time
So talk to me again
As though you have always been there

I do not know your name
And you do not know mine

But I can hear your voice
You said something..
Something that made me smile

So .. give me that smile, talk to me again
And let's start over.